Waiting

Robbie hasn't returned.
No notes, no phone calls, he's moved on. His old residence is abandoned, I have no other contacts for him. I know he left..I know he hasn't been...been....hurt. He took his puppets, all of them, before leaving.
I can't say I blame him for leaving..he is probably terrified of what he saw. Even I still..still don't know..
But I'm alone now. I doubt anything Alice has posted recently is of any help to me. I doubt everything, now. I'm too afraid to go outside anymore. To afraid to walk past the mirrors, too afraid I might see Him. Or whatever He is. Too afraid that I may again wake up covered in blood, only I will dying.
Still..there has been no sign of Him since then. Perhaps he is happy with the prize he took last time, perhaps he is happy with the dreams I have that consist of nothing more than crying. Endless wails of a child..a baby.
I wish I could run away, like Robbie did.
But I know there's no where I can run.

Blood

There was blood everywhere..so much blood. It covered the floors and the walls, it created a path leading to the mirror in the bathroom. So much blood, so much blood. I don't know what happened, I felt no pain...just blood. Just blood everywhere, I don't know what to do, or if there..there is anything I can do. So much blood..and an emptiness inside...where has Robbie gone..

Sickend

I am sorry for the lack of updates since the 6th...I've been so sick since then. I find it almost impossible to leave my bed most of the day, let alone stand to walk and update the blog. It is a miracle that I am able to post this today. Nothing new has occured...Alice remains the same. She refuses to speak to me, even as I lie here in pain. Robbie is worried for me, sometimes he is even frightened of me, it seems. He says I don't look right, even though he wants to help me, I know he is just afraid of me. Whatever this sickness is...the effort it takes to walk sends the room spiraling. More than once I have glanced at a window or mirror only to think I saw a figure there. There's nothing there, nothing ever is. I feel so weak, so heavy...I want to ask if Robbie has seen this figure too.
We all know who he is, and if Alice is allowed to tell Andreas, why can't I tell Robbie? Only I doubt his mind will be able to handle it. I haven't seen any of his puppets lately, maybe he thinks I'm not well enough to see them. I worry for him. I don't want him sucked up into this. Whatever 'this' is. This sickness, this paranoia, these Schizophrenic rumors and whispers. Nothing of it makes any sense to me, does anyone make sense of it?
I just want to sleep now, the light from the computer hurts my eyes.

Wiped Away

The things I discovered in Pennsylvania had opened more answers than questions. Robbie and I arrived in Pennsylvania late Monday, and headed to the area of town on Tuesday. Everything was gone; the houses were obliterated. They were crushed to tiny pieces, some of them even showed signs of being on fire. There was no one around, no one with Robbie and myself, no survivors. The whole community was exterminated by this storm. I wanted to find my relatives' bodies, but Robbie wouldn't let me. He insisted that everything was okay, and that we should go back home. I should have known better than to bring him, he's not used to such tragedies and perhaps seeing everything traumatized him. Maybe he was even sent into a state of shock, I was unable to convince him to look further into what had happened. I don't know if any other surrounding areas were affected, or if there were any survivors. I don't know what happened to anyone, and the more I try to search up the storm, the less information there is to be found.

Therefore, I have come to a conclusion, upon my return home, that everyone seems to be in denial; they are ignoring that this neighborhood was wiped off the face of the earth by some force. Even Robbie may be lying, maybe they all cannot accept the loss of so many lives from an extraordinary source. Or, it could be much worse. They could all be slowly turning against me, lying to me on purpose. I shouldn't jump to such conclusions, there is no reason for Robbie to turn against me. There couldn't be...even though I once believed the same with Alice. Maybe there is no one I can trust.

Recovery

The past few days I have been trying to recover from..from whatever it was that occurred last week. I was able to have the burns treated at the hospital even though I could provide no reason as to how they occurred. The doctors had no idea either; they could not speculate on what caused the burns, and I refused to let them involve the police. Nothing they had done in the past was of any help, and I doubt even with their support would anything be discovered. I have made a good enough recovery in order to walk, but my legs still shake and collapse occasionally. As for what I saw in my..vision, shall I call it-I can make no comment. It is obvious what happened to Brian happened to the children, but otherwise..I am lost.

I can only guess that the number five had something to do with the fifth building, but what the importance of the number was I am unsure. I cannot think of the experience as doing so only reminds me of the horrible images of the children, and a feeling of dread spreads over me. It will be impossible to forget the things I saw-it causes me so much pain to think back on it. Robbie has been trying to keep me calm, and to soothe the remnants of the pain in my legs. I am thankful I can at least talk to him, if Alice refuses to speak.

Of Happiness

I am sorry for the lack of updates recently, but with Robbie's sickness and the other occurrences going on I have been distracted. I am happy to report that Robbie is back to normal, and with him in good health I will be able to try and focus on everything else. Nothing has come up yet about the children who went missing at the Daycare, which only unsettles me.
Alice has also remained silent to any of my inquiries on how she has been feeling and if she has been getting along alright. I am worried for her. Even worse, since finding out the hidden picture in the picture she posted, I have been unable to get the number five out of my head. What it means and what its significance is I do not know. Nothing that comes to my mind makes any sense. It is almost as if Alice is toying with me.
On a much lighter note however, I saw a bird today. The first bird I've seen since the owl attack, and it was a welcome sight. It was too far away for me to identify what sort of bird it was, but it fills me with such joy to see the return of the birds to this area. It's much more tranquil and calm with the feathered flocks flying about.

A Bit of a Distraction

I have been quiet here mainly because Robbie is feeling ill. He has been coughing almost continually, along with a horrible headache. It doesn't seem to be much worse than an allergic reaction due to the season, but it still has been taking up my time. He's extremely fatigued because of the coughing, and so I have not been able to focus on trying to go into the forest. Alice's picture posting, however, still stays on my mind. Her e-mails are very unresponsive, almost like she's simply waiting for me to see some second meaning to her image. All I hope is that she's not taking everything too far. Her state of mind has not become better since her discovery of that entry, and I fear that she is simply taking it to drastic measures due to her hallucinations. As for trying to go into the forest, I won't bring it up again to Robbie until he's feeling a little better. Hopefully he will be well in a few days, and he will be more up to the idea.

Postponed

The last few days I have been trying to gather up the needed things in order to venture into the forest. I haven't been looking forward to it, I can honestly say. Still, I need to find whatever answers are in the forest, if any. There has to be a logical explanation as to why I lost my memory, but in order for me to find the reason, I'd need a witness. If I lost my memory again, I'd need someone to at least tell me what happened. No one is better suited for this than Robbie, but he refuses to venture into the forest again. He says he doesn't want the owls to come and hurt me again, and the fact I don't remember what happened is a good enough reason to stay out. For now, then, I am forced to stay out of the forest or risk going in alone and not making any progress. I do not know if Robbie will ever want to go into the forest, but I know eventually we may need too. I only hope that we don't wait too long and everything returns to normal without an answer.

Contemplation

I have been so very troubled, looking over the last month's posts-I mean both Alice's posts and my own-and the drastic change occurred that I just..don't understand. My posts are full of hostility, and anger, while Alice's Schizophrenia becomes more and more severe. I don't know what caused my anger, even when I think back through the month, nothing about me was different. I had no headaches, no other injury other than the owls attacking me. The only parts I have no memory on are the two weeks I was searching for Roc. I remember walking through the forest, I remember hearing the birds and other normal sounds, but how could I have been wandering in a forest for two weeks? It is impossible. Robbie tells me about how he worried he was when I was missing, so I know I could not have come home without knowing. If something had happened to me, I would have remembered. The human brain simply doesn't just forget things, especially traumatic things, unless some injury occurs. No scars were on me after I arrived home, nothing until the owl attack. If I did suffer from some sort of amnesia, what could have caused it? Memory doesn't just blank out, and it's concerning me that something in my own head has gone awry. My personality change only supports this, and no doubt it has had a negative effect on Alice. I'm just as confused as she is, simply without the severity of her disorder. I'll have to spend more time looking into what could have possibly caused this, maybe by doing so I'll be able to help both myself and Alice.

The Cage Stands Alone

It's been so long since I've come home to look at the joyful Roc in her cage. It isn't the same without hearing her chirps in the evening, and no amount of Robbie and his puppets are going to replace Roc's company. No puppet is going to fly like a bird can, and certainly they make less of a noise. I haven't even had the heart to take down Roc's cage, it still stands empty, just as she left it. I walked past it every day, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'll return again. Why would she vanish like this? It confuses me so much, and the fact there is no explanation is worse than her vanishing in the first place. Robbie tries his best, but all I do is miss her more and more every day. I have to forget about her, just as I did Brian. I left the day care without a fuss in order to help move on from him, and now that lingering cage has to follow. The silence of the birds around here has begun to unsettle me, and the scars I have from the owl attack have no explanation. I haven't seen the owls since the attack, I haven't seen any birds since then, and neither has Robbie. I don't dare go into the forest again, I have a feeling it wants me to leave it alone. Everything has no explanation, and the more things that happen the less I can make of it. Without Roc, it's even harder for me get by.

An Explanation

I've mostly recovered from the run-in with the owls, even though I'm still covered in scars. I asked Robbie what happened, and he told me little that I didn't already know. He said that the owls started to land in the trees near us while we were walking. Not long after all of the owls had gathered, they started to hoot before they swarmed me. They didn't attack Robbie, even when he interfered to shoo them away, they were focused on attacking me. I never knew owls to gather in this area, and never before sundown. I don't know why these horrible things took it upon themselves to attack me. No other birds were around, it seems like every other bird has vanished from this area. Robbie also said he did not recognize the owls at all, and I don't know where they could have come from. I'm at a loss about all these crazy things happening, and I'm growing more and more annoyed over it all. Robbie doesn't know how to take this situation seriously besides making sure I'm okay, and I'm tired of it.

Swarmed

...I don't know what happened. I don't know what caused it, but owls swarmed and attacked me. One moment I was walking with Robbie in the woods when I heard their constant hooting, and the next moment my vision was blinded by feathers and talons, and I was knocked to the ground. I don't remember what else happened...but I woke up at home covered in these horrible scratches. They still sting now, but Robbie is looking after me, I think I will be okay.

Last Day

I was asked to resign at work today, or more or less I walked in to find that I had lost my job entirely. They had grown tired of my absences, so it seems. None of the children were sad to see me leave, and I can't say I felt sorry to go. Another day surrounded by their noise and Robbie's puppets would have been too much. To think that a day care full of growing children feels no sympathy for the recovering employee! I won't try to get my job back, but at least I will have more time to catch up on my studies. It is so very silent now without the noises of a bird to brighten my day, and it even the wild birds have stopped singing. Robbie said-in between his chronic apologies and puppet displays distracting me from schoolwork-that it was abnormal for them to be so quiet this time of year.

Complications

I spent my day attempting to explain to Robbie what happened while I was gone. He was both shocked and happy to see me, while I wished he would have left me alone. With my return, he's become more of a nuisance, asking me what happened, or what's wrong when I yell at him for his constant pestering. He told me how much he missed me while I was gone, and he acts like I might suddenly vanish again if he leaves me alone. Even worse, he tried to make me 'feel better' by showing me the puppets he's made recently. As cute and creative as his puppets are, I found them all the more disturbing. A grown man shouldn't be spending his days making puppets, not as obsessively as he is. I couldn't take it when he showed me some new string puppet he created, so I decided in order to prove a point, to rip the strings off of it. I guess I left him to think about what he's done, although I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow, as always, trying to make amends for what happened today.

Songbird

Robbie told me today after work that he had found the perfect song for me, something as a 'gift' I guess you could call it. I never heard the song before now, and it's just so sweet of him to have found this song for me. I decided, due to it's title and that Robbie was so excited about it, to share it.
:-)

Return

Both Robbie and I survived being questioned by the police. Compared to the last time I was questioned, the atmosphere was much more negative. They asked me questions that pointed toward me being not just 'a' suspect, but the only suspect. If it were not for the fact Robbie's story and my own were exactly the same on what I was doing when Brian died, I probably would have been arrested. Their sudden hostility is just so...unexpected. Why have they taken so long to move along in their investigation? It makes me believe they just don't know what's going on. All they wish to do is point their finger at someone, mainly me. In the end though, the police let both Robbie and myself go. They don't trust me, and I doubt if anything happens in the future I won't be able to count on them. I feel like I have to be more cautious, even though I've done nothing wrong. I feel like I'm guilty of something, perhaps guilty of being so ignorant in how Brian died?

Summons

The police called today to inform me that they need to bring me in for questioning. Not long after they had called then did Robbie inform me that he, too, had received such a call. No doubt it is because of Brian's death that we're being questioned, and even though I have nothing to fear, I'm quite worried. The last time they had questioned me all I learned from it was that the police had collected a strange recording with my name, and to think they took almost two months to actually look into Brian's murder...it concerns me greatly. Nonetheless, Robbie and I will be questioned on Sunday, if anything happens I'll be sure to mention it.

St. Valentine's Day

As the title suggests, today is St. Valentine's Day. For the most part, it was a normal day, I woke up in the morning and discovered an odd message written on my bathroom's mirror. It was written in red, and when I left to go take a picture of it, the message had vanished. The message consisted of  "Kind war tot", but I don't remember the whole thing, and nor do I know what it meant. Because it vanished, though, maybe I was just half asleep and only thought it was there. After work I spent the evening with Robbie, I had baked him a cake in honor of Valentine's day, which he heartily enjoyed. He bought me a small box chocolates which were just delightful. Robbie is just so sweet and made my evening. <3

Not the Same

It's been ten days since I started going back to work, and even with Robbie with me I find it hard to enjoy the job like I used to. The children are still friendly with me, but I just can't be the same with them. No one questions what happened to Brian, and none of them act strange around me. I just can't try to get close to any of them again, I'm afraid if I do they'll just end up dead like Brian...it's a terrible feeling. Robbie's been putting on puppet shows almost weekly at the daycare, I think it's mainly to keep me happy or distracted. I dread that the other employees will start to realize how unenthusiastic I am and ask me to resign. But..it is better to have me working than to have me moping around the house all day, I think.  Maybe I'll try to go research something tomorrow, and maybe Robbie will come with me.

Back to Work

I started going back to work yesterday, and before I left today I decided that it would be best to let you all know. Robbie has been coming with me to work, mainly to volunteer and keep me company. Also, Alice and I have been talking about the occurrences of Brian's Card and her picture appearing. I'm still not taking any of it well, but...I'm getting better. We can't think of a logical explanation, and it just unsettles me that someone, somehow is trying to drag Alice into this..