Complications

I spent my day attempting to explain to Robbie what happened while I was gone. He was both shocked and happy to see me, while I wished he would have left me alone. With my return, he's become more of a nuisance, asking me what happened, or what's wrong when I yell at him for his constant pestering. He told me how much he missed me while I was gone, and he acts like I might suddenly vanish again if he leaves me alone. Even worse, he tried to make me 'feel better' by showing me the puppets he's made recently. As cute and creative as his puppets are, I found them all the more disturbing. A grown man shouldn't be spending his days making puppets, not as obsessively as he is. I couldn't take it when he showed me some new string puppet he created, so I decided in order to prove a point, to rip the strings off of it. I guess I left him to think about what he's done, although I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow, as always, trying to make amends for what happened today.

I'm Happy They Took You Away

Remember when I ran away
And you got on your knees and begged me
Not to leave because you'd go berserk? Well...
You thought you had me fooled
But I just left you anyhow, because
I knew you were already out of your mind! And...

I'm happy they took you away, ha ha
I'm happy they took you away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
To the funny farm
Where life's hysterical all the time
And you'll be sorry I sent those nice, young
Men in their clean, white coats
And I'm happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!

I thought that you were nuts and so I laughed
I laughed when you had said
That losing me would make you flip your lid. Right?
It's true, I laughed, you heared me laugh
I laughed, I laughed and laughed
And then I left, because I know you're utterly mad! And...

I'm happy they took you away, ha ha
I'm happy they took you away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
To the happy home
With tree and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And I'm happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!

You burned my food, you wrecked my house
And this is how I've paid you back
For all your cruel, unloving selfish deeds! Nyeh!
They've got you now and you'll get just
What you deserve for calling me a mutt,
You mangy man!
And...

I'm happy they took you away, ha ha
I'm happy they took you away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
To the funny farm
Where life's hysterical all the time
And you'll be sorry I sent those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And I'm happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!

To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And I'm happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!

To the funny farm
Where life's hysterical all the time
And you'll be sorry I sent those nice, young men
In their clean white coats
And I'm happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!

Searching

I arrived home from work, and everything was quiet. Usually, Roc greets me when I come home, but today she was silent. I went to her cage only to find it was completely empty. The cage was not disturbed, the only thing missing was my beloved Roc. I would have called the police, but I know they can't be trusted. I am taking matters into my own hands, I am going off to search for her in the forest. If Roc escaped by her own means, I know that is where she will be. If I still cannot find her, I will look around town tomorrow. Robbie isn't coming with me, but I've asked him to keep an eye out for Roc, just in case she happens to find her way home. Wish me luck, I will get to the bottom of this, for Roc's sake.

A Strange Letter

Before I left for class this morning, I noticed an envelope just inside my door. It was unmarked; no stamp, no sender, no address. The envelope was sealed, and when I opened it, the letter inside was even stranger. The envelope looked modern, as if it had never been used before, but the letter was old. I was able to scan the letter when I came home today;

If you can't read it, it says:
Mary,
Run, child, run as fast as you can.

It then is signed with only that strange mark, which reminds me of a bird. I don't know who sent it, but whoever did sent it directly to me, actually taking the time to hand deliver it. As for the message, all I can tell is it is a sort of warning, but I am unsure as to what. If I am the 'child', what is it I am running from? And..the hand writing. It seemed child-like, but also seems..different, somehow. I don't think a child wrote this. It is all very perplexing.

Songbird

Robbie told me today after work that he had found the perfect song for me, something as a 'gift' I guess you could call it. I never heard the song before now, and it's just so sweet of him to have found this song for me. I decided, due to it's title and that Robbie was so excited about it, to share it.
:-)

Dreaming

I woke up today from a very strange dream. It has been a long time since I have had any dream at all, which is why I find it of interest. The dream itself was simple enough, I was standing in the middle of a road, and on either side of me were lines of telephone poles. Sitting crowded together on the wires of these poles were hundreds upon hundreds of birds, I think they may have been crows. I began to walk down the street, and as I did the birds began to watch me, their heads following wherever I went. I continued to walk down the street, when suddenly I came to the end, or at least I couldn't walk any further. I turned around, and watched as all of the crows on the wire suddenly began to melt off of the wires, becoming black pools.
The dream unsettled me greatly at first; I remember I spent the morning making sure Roc and Robbie were alright, which they were. I spent most of my day wondering about the dream, why I just suddenly had a dream about melting crows. I decided to look some things up about the dream, I doubt they mean much, but it can't hurt to try.


-Melting, although I couldn't find anything specific, means that I am trying to let go or release negative emotions over a situation.
-Crows, as can be expected, represent death.
-The dead end I reached on the road may mean I've come to the end of something, and that I need to move on and work on something else.
-The fact that the crows 'melt' or 'die' means that I'm trying to get over something, or am over it.
(Source: http://www.dreammoods.com/)
Looking over those 'facts' probably means that...I'm trying to let go of Brian's death and the pain it caused me, trying to forget about him. I think that's mostly accurate, if only by chance. It is strange, really, but I think I've greatly gotten over his death, especially since this dream. I don't remember thinking about him as I usually do at the day care. Maybe I have moved on.

Return

Both Robbie and I survived being questioned by the police. Compared to the last time I was questioned, the atmosphere was much more negative. They asked me questions that pointed toward me being not just 'a' suspect, but the only suspect. If it were not for the fact Robbie's story and my own were exactly the same on what I was doing when Brian died, I probably would have been arrested. Their sudden hostility is just so...unexpected. Why have they taken so long to move along in their investigation? It makes me believe they just don't know what's going on. All they wish to do is point their finger at someone, mainly me. In the end though, the police let both Robbie and myself go. They don't trust me, and I doubt if anything happens in the future I won't be able to count on them. I feel like I have to be more cautious, even though I've done nothing wrong. I feel like I'm guilty of something, perhaps guilty of being so ignorant in how Brian died?