Monday, February 28, 2011


Robbie told me today after work that he had found the perfect song for me, something as a 'gift' I guess you could call it. I never heard the song before now, and it's just so sweet of him to have found this song for me. I decided, due to it's title and that Robbie was so excited about it, to share it.

Thursday, February 24, 2011


I woke up today from a very strange dream. It has been a long time since I have had any dream at all, which is why I find it of interest. The dream itself was simple enough, I was standing in the middle of a road, and on either side of me were lines of telephone poles. Sitting crowded together on the wires of these poles were hundreds upon hundreds of birds, I think they may have been crows. I began to walk down the street, and as I did the birds began to watch me, their heads following wherever I went. I continued to walk down the street, when suddenly I came to the end, or at least I couldn't walk any further. I turned around, and watched as all of the crows on the wire suddenly began to melt off of the wires, becoming black pools.
The dream unsettled me greatly at first; I remember I spent the morning making sure Roc and Robbie were alright, which they were. I spent most of my day wondering about the dream, why I just suddenly had a dream about melting crows. I decided to look some things up about the dream, I doubt they mean much, but it can't hurt to try.

-Melting, although I couldn't find anything specific, means that I am trying to let go or release negative emotions over a situation.
-Crows, as can be expected, represent death.
-The dead end I reached on the road may mean I've come to the end of something, and that I need to move on and work on something else.
-The fact that the crows 'melt' or 'die' means that I'm trying to get over something, or am over it.
Looking over those 'facts' probably means that...I'm trying to let go of Brian's death and the pain it caused me, trying to forget about him. I think that's mostly accurate, if only by chance. It is strange, really, but I think I've greatly gotten over his death, especially since this dream. I don't remember thinking about him as I usually do at the day care. Maybe I have moved on.

Sunday, February 20, 2011


Both Robbie and I survived being questioned by the police. Compared to the last time I was questioned, the atmosphere was much more negative. They asked me questions that pointed toward me being not just 'a' suspect, but the only suspect. If it were not for the fact Robbie's story and my own were exactly the same on what I was doing when Brian died, I probably would have been arrested. Their sudden hostility is just so...unexpected. Why have they taken so long to move along in their investigation? It makes me believe they just don't know what's going on. All they wish to do is point their finger at someone, mainly me. In the end though, the police let both Robbie and myself go. They don't trust me, and I doubt if anything happens in the future I won't be able to count on them. I feel like I have to be more cautious, even though I've done nothing wrong. I feel like I'm guilty of something, perhaps guilty of being so ignorant in how Brian died?

Friday, February 18, 2011


The police called today to inform me that they need to bring me in for questioning. Not long after they had called then did Robbie inform me that he, too, had received such a call. No doubt it is because of Brian's death that we're being questioned, and even though I have nothing to fear, I'm quite worried. The last time they had questioned me all I learned from it was that the police had collected a strange recording with my name, and to think they took almost two months to actually look into Brian's concerns me greatly. Nonetheless, Robbie and I will be questioned on Sunday, if anything happens I'll be sure to mention it.

Monday, February 14, 2011

St. Valentine's Day

As the title suggests, today is St. Valentine's Day. For the most part, it was a normal day, I woke up in the morning and discovered an odd message written on my bathroom's mirror. It was written in red, and when I left to go take a picture of it, the message had vanished. The message consisted of  "Kind war tot", but I don't remember the whole thing, and nor do I know what it meant. Because it vanished, though, maybe I was just half asleep and only thought it was there. After work I spent the evening with Robbie, I had baked him a cake in honor of Valentine's day, which he heartily enjoyed. He bought me a small box chocolates which were just delightful. Robbie is just so sweet and made my evening. <3