Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Cage Stands Alone

It's been so long since I've come home to look at the joyful Roc in her cage. It isn't the same without hearing her chirps in the evening, and no amount of Robbie and his puppets are going to replace Roc's company. No puppet is going to fly like a bird can, and certainly they make less of a noise. I haven't even had the heart to take down Roc's cage, it still stands empty, just as she left it. I walked past it every day, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'll return again. Why would she vanish like this? It confuses me so much, and the fact there is no explanation is worse than her vanishing in the first place. Robbie tries his best, but all I do is miss her more and more every day. I have to forget about her, just as I did Brian. I left the day care without a fuss in order to help move on from him, and now that lingering cage has to follow. The silence of the birds around here has begun to unsettle me, and the scars I have from the owl attack have no explanation. I haven't seen the owls since the attack, I haven't seen any birds since then, and neither has Robbie. I don't dare go into the forest again, I have a feeling it wants me to leave it alone. Everything has no explanation, and the more things that happen the less I can make of it. Without Roc, it's even harder for me get by.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

An Explanation

I've mostly recovered from the run-in with the owls, even though I'm still covered in scars. I asked Robbie what happened, and he told me little that I didn't already know. He said that the owls started to land in the trees near us while we were walking. Not long after all of the owls had gathered, they started to hoot before they swarmed me. They didn't attack Robbie, even when he interfered to shoo them away, they were focused on attacking me. I never knew owls to gather in this area, and never before sundown. I don't know why these horrible things took it upon themselves to attack me. No other birds were around, it seems like every other bird has vanished from this area. Robbie also said he did not recognize the owls at all, and I don't know where they could have come from. I'm at a loss about all these crazy things happening, and I'm growing more and more annoyed over it all. Robbie doesn't know how to take this situation seriously besides making sure I'm okay, and I'm tired of it.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


...I don't know what happened. I don't know what caused it, but owls swarmed and attacked me. One moment I was walking with Robbie in the woods when I heard their constant hooting, and the next moment my vision was blinded by feathers and talons, and I was knocked to the ground. I don't remember what else happened...but I woke up at home covered in these horrible scratches. They still sting now, but Robbie is looking after me, I think I will be okay.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Utter Silence

Since being fired from my job at the day care, the birds have stayed silent. Usually by this time of year they start uttering those ghastly words all hours of the morning, evening, and whenever they get a chance. Instead, the mornings only welcome me with a fog that lasts until my classes end. I once thought that their 'singing' was calming, but I do not know why I did. If anything is worse than their singing, however, it has to be their muteness. Everything seems so dead without their ludicrous songs, even Robbie (who never notices anything) has agreed with me. It is hard to sleep knowing I won't get such a wonderful wake up call from them in the morning.

Friday, April 1, 2011


Since meeting Alice, I have been focusing mainly on Schizophrenia and other Psychotic Disorders. Recently though, I've humored myself with looking up various other disorders. I found out another disorder may be a possibility in her condition-Psychopathy.

Before I go much further, I would like to point out that none of this is definitive. I can't conduct, nor prove anything about anyone's condition without being there in person-and certainly not without more education in the subject. Worth mentioning also, is that Psychopathy is often used or confused with Antisocial Personality Disorder, but the two are not exactly the same. I will be focusing only on the symptoms, and comparing them with Alice's personality.

Need of Stimulation/Prone to Boredom- Perhaps not totally true, but hasn't she written in the past how boring and dull everything is?
Shallow Emotional Response- Not responding or interpreting the emotions around her easily.
Manipulative- That 'joke' with the bird skeleton; trying to act like the skeleton was that of Roc. Manipulating the thoughts and emotions of myself.
Parasitic Lifestyle- Her inability, almost, to survive during the few days I was gone. To feed off my support.
Lack of Long Term Goals- I do not think Alice has any goals in mind.
Poor Behavioral Controls- As seen in some of her journal entries.
Lack of Empathy- Again illustrated with the bird skeleton, but also with her reaction to me losing my job.
Impulsive- I believe she thinks or acts without much, if any, planning.
Failure to Accept Responsibility for Own Actions- Perhaps not totally true, but she has not accepted or asked for forgiveness of all of her actions.

Not all of Alice's doings and reactions are psychopathic, and many other of the symptoms of psychopathy do not fit Alice exactly. I do not say she is just a psychopath, but I must point out the possibility she may be both schizophrenic and psychopathic. The correlation is not accepted as common, but that does not mean it can't exist.