In order to explain what could have happened to my brain during the two weeks of my absence, I've been running through more details on how the brain works with memory, and how that can be interrupted. Basically, memory works following this pattern;
Sensory Memory > Short Term Memory > Long Term Memory
Most of the time we don't encode or remember all of our sensory memory, which consists of what we see, hear, smell etc. Depending on how important that memory is, or if we take steps in order to store the memory, it can be put into short term memory or long term. The more emotional a memory it is, the easier it is to remember. If what happened to me was traumatic, it should have easily been stored in my Long Term Memory, and if that is so-why can't I retrieve this information?
I have no disorders that would have caused me to forget everything, even though nothing was physically done to my head, which would support that something developed or occurred during those two weeks. This makes me believe I had some sort of amnesia, more specifically a form of Retrograde Amnesia. Whatever happened in the forest distressed me to the point my brain wishes to avoid it. Perhaps the stress of this event caused my mood change, as I did not forget any information about myself, I do not have a more severe disorder. I tried to ask Robbie how I looked or acted when I came home, but he could provide no information, either. The only thing he could remember was that the days I had vanished were foggy, not just in the morning but through most of the day. After I came home, the birds had vanished, and they still remain absent. Something terrible had happened to me, or I had witnessed something terrible occurring. What distresses me more is that the event was not psychically harming me. Whatever happened destroyed me emotionally and mentally, which makes it harder to determine its source. I need to know what it was, I can't simply believe that two weeks of my life being gone is normal.
My conclusion leads me to think that in order to help me remember what I had forgotten, I will have to go back to the forest. This time with Robbie, and I have to try to recreate the night I had left. It is drastic, and I hardly feel safe doing so, but I will have to do something. I'm not going to venture into the forest until I am sure I can come out with answers; not more questions. I'll have to run the idea past Robbie, but I'm sure he will be up for it. If nothing else he'll be able to defend me from any of the owls that decide to appear. I am afraid I can't explain why they appeared as I can with what happened to my memory.
Bring some sort of weapon with you.... I have a bad feeling about this.~Rose
ReplyDeleteI hope this does not end as I think it ends... :/
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